11/3/11 Earthquake in Japan

11/3/11　will become a day I won't ever forget. My heart goes out to Japan as I write this. Knowing that―in this moment―there is nothing I can do, meanwhile the death toll increases and increases. My tears might never reach Japan, but right now... I want nothing more than to help.

Sendai was once a beautiful city that I actually dreamed of visiting, unlike the tiny fishing village the U.S. news here seems to convey it as. It seems as though it was only two hours before the earthquakes hit―I was on the phone with a new friend in Japan. Before the earthquakes and the tsunamis, I was truly more happy than I had ever been in my entire life. Without a care in the world, I was featured in a newspaper, a video, I was complimented right and left, and it was so obvious. I was happy. This morning―after hearing negative news 99.9% of the time―I saw this catastrophe as a minor hiccup meant to fill up the empty, void spaces of a peaceful planet. "Earthquakes in Japan are as common as the wind," I insisted, as my parents began to panic. "The news is running out of bad news, so they're just exaggerating a tiny little shake to avoid posting a good local story for once." As my carpool came for me later that morning, I was horrified to realize that I was dead wrong. At this point, the earthquake had been confirmed as a level 8.9 earthquake, with over 300+ people dead, and more than 400+ people missing. At this point, everyone in that car knew that this was the worst earthquake in Japan's long history of already terrifying, and devastating earthquakes. I was scared.
It was in my 1st period when I learned that Hawai'i was also hit. My teacher came from the same island, the same town, that I came from, so it was very nerve-racking to hear it from someone who was obviously just as upset as I was becoming to be. It was too early in the day to know that Hawai'i was fine. So I panicked instead.
In my 2nd period, the science department at my school was all over the topic. My head smacked down on the table as soon as Japan was mentioned, and I began shaking uncontrollably. A classmate behind me had her beady eyes glued on my back the whole time, and her hand must of shot up before the teacher called her name out loud. "Did the Philippines get hit as well?" I reeled around in my seat, glaring, and meeting her gaze―bringing even more unwanted attention from everyone else in the room. My mind was racing. How could she bring that up? Couldn't she see I had enough? That I was already upset? Why can't she understand? I can't take another one... I can't take another hit. Oh god... what if my family...... As soon as the talks were over, I was sent to the counselors. But even these trained professionals had nothing to say, and I imagine on 9-11―the counselors' offices of this country were probably empty, or speechless as well.
During our break, I spent time with friends, looking over footage of the earthquake as it was in effect. The screeches of  ｢大丈夫～大丈夫｣ filled the empty girl's locker room.
The rest of my classes held silent prayers, and my 6th period Ethics class held a lengthy, sincerely appreciated, prayer. We watched a video, documenting the speed, and the power of the water wipe out the coast of Sendai. I watched as fire moved along the tops of the blackened water, and destroyed anything and everything in its path. My teacher then said something that rings over and over, again and again in my mind, "Where we are, we are in danger of snow, and that snow will melt. This, this damage is permanent, and it's here forever." A living reminder, I think, of how nothing in this world is fair.


I've lived in Guam, which was hit. I've lived in Hawai'i, which was barely hit, but hit all the same. These places shaped me into who I am today. They are my past, and my present. My family is in the Philippines, and so I thank God it was saved. And last, and painfully, Japan. My future. Something that I feel my heart is directly linked to by a string through the center of my chest. I've fallen madly, deeply, passionately in love with this country, and more connected with it's people than with any other. And here I sit. Crying. Doing. Nothing. I feel so helpless. I just want to help. 
One after another (Japan, Guam, Hawai'i, and then the Philippines)―I learned of the threat. The panic. The crisis. I can't handle anymore. These four places make up almost every part of my soul, and I know in my heart that if they were all gone long before... I would not be the same. Heck! I wouldn't be born! I felt as though no one could possibly understand how my emotions escalated within each and every hour. I was directly effected, directly linked. If they had seen the places and the people I had, they would know that none of these places deserve any of this. Especially Japan, which my heart had left me for. I feel so empty inside. The death toll is above 1000+ people now. Praying is no longer enough, I'm afraid. I want to take action. My heart is gone, and my prayers seem not to reach. 
Japan is not alone, but I feel heartbroken for all the lives that should never have been lost today.
Coming from someone who has lived nearby, please support, donate, and pray for Japan, and the entire Pacific. Also, please support Ryuzaki1311, who I'm surprised to find shares my feelings and emotions exactly. My heart also goes out to her as we do our best to stay strong, and do what we can.
ーリッキ