The Beginning: Reflections.

★☆★　aya's back.　★☆★

―with a string of posts from her Japan trip,  

and posting an album link of all 200+ photos at the end!!

Since coming back from Japan, I'm subconsciously doing everything I can to stay connected. I'm frequently looking for Japanese forums to be a part of, staying up until 3am so that I can talk with Japanese friends on facebook and Japan-Guide, and just simply going out of my way to keep my Japanese high intact. >< It's been really depressing; since coming back... Because I don't drive―I can't just go out and walk around, or take a train/bus anymore. In fact, I can't get out at all..! I can rarely use any Japanese here, and all the weight I lost is coming right back. ><

U__________________U

But, regardless of how crappy I'm feeling now(lol)―I cannot put to words just how amazing Japan was in my eyes... (I know―deep, huh?) And, although it took a week, or two, to figure out exactly how I felt―it really helped to know that the weather I experienced happened to be the WORST weather Japan's had in 140 YEARS.

★☆★　Okay. So, just what exactly did you feel, Aya?　★☆★

At almost every point of my life―there had been people telling me that I was a dreamer, and that my dreams would never come true. No one could believe in me. Especially now that I want to become a teacher in Japan. And... prior to going to Japan for the first time... I almost believed them. But, after experiencing Japan through my own eyes, I realize that Japan is the most wondrously realistic thing I've ever been a part of. And, I could see a future here. I could see happiness here. I felt so alive, for the first time in a very long time... And I'm no longer willing to give up that feeling.

People always ask me, "why Japan?," but I only have one way to answer this... Japan is home to me. Japan is everything I wanted for myself all these years. I feel safe in Japan, I feel healthy in Japan, I feel so happy in Japan. (And it helps that I can relate to my generation in Japan a hundred times more than I can to the one here..) Japan is so different from everything I'm so used to, and know so well... but, I want to spend the rest of my days learning something new. I want to spend every year I have learning about this wonderful country; even when knowing that I'll never learn it all. And I want to inspire my future students to do the same―to always be open to learning new things, and to go out there and live your life the way you want to live it! ♥ You only have one life, after all. It's about time people learned how to take advantage of what time they have.

And, believe it or not, I actually get laughed at for this. >< And to those people, I only have one thing to say... Someday, I will make my dreams come true. And when I finally have my own class, my own desk, my own home, and my own life... I hope you'll feel as stupid as you look in my eyes. ><

next post && still to come―  

Days in Tokyo.

♪～絢aya